Bonding With Your Betta

[Whisper]

I have been studying bettas for over 20 years and I would like to share one of my many observations when it comes to developing a strong bond with your betta. They like QUALITY time. By that I mean a sincere attention to them for 15 to 20 minutes straight minimum. One thing they all seem to hate is when you come over to their tank and pay attention to them, talking to them, getting them real interested in you and they finally come over to you but then you (we) walk away because we don't have the time to spend more time at their tank. Nothing will #101## off a Betta faster than you getting them interested in you only to have them watch you walk away from their tank. If you give them quality time each day they will develop a strong bond with you and interact with you in ways that will suprise you.

Another thing I have observed when keeping several bettas (all in seperate tanks) and trying to give them all quality time, is that they get jealous. They really do. The seem to resent the quality time you give to the OTHER Betta(s) even if you give them each a fair amount of quality time. I have found this does effect the bonding process in a negative way and requires you to give a LOT MORE QUALITY TIME to each betta if you want to develop a tight bond with all of them.

I'm sure you've seen your Betta throw a Hissy Fit when they get mad at you. That's when they swim rapidly and flash their tail against stuff in the tank as though to say HEY, I DIDN'T LIKE THAT. The Hissy Fit is a freaquent response I have observed when I leave one Betta to go pay attention to another. And the Betta that is throwing the hissy fit is the one I just left.

So next time you get your Betta all excited that you want to play with them, try to make it last for about 15 minutes or until they lose interest and swim away first.

One more observation if I may. They are studying us ALL THE TIME. Even when we are not near their tanks if they can see us they are watching us but they will often do it in a way to hide the fact that they are watching us. Yes...Bettas can be shy too.

Love your Bettas (as I'm sure we all do or we wouldn't be posting about them) and they will love you back. But..You all know that already.

 

[blinky000]

I completely agree, Steve has been having terrible temper tantrums since the addition of my otos. He seems to be developing some attachment issues and will CONSTANTLY obstruct my view of anything else I might be paying attention to in the tank that isn't him. He's getting quite needy for a betta haha. By quality time, can you give me some examples of things I can do with him?

 

[Fishy friend2]

Right after I read this I went to go spend time with my betta

 

[Whisper]

I completely agree, Steve has been having terrible temper tantrums since the addition of my otos. He seems to be developing some attachment issues and will CONSTANTLY obstruct my view of anything else I might be paying attention to in the tank that isn't him. He's getting quite needy for a betta haha. By quality time, can you give me some examples of things I can do with him?

Well, by quality time mostly i mean long sessions of at least 15 minutes. If you have repeatedly gone to their tank to say hello and within a minute or 2 walk away they note that and they won't look at you as a playmate because you are walking away before they got to the point where they are now interested in you. If you've done that many times, they will mostly come over, say hi back, ask for food, and swim away because they know you are just going to walk away very soon.

These bettas are creatures of habbit and they are extremely smart and get into a routine very easily. Make it a routine to spend this quality time with them almost daily and also try to do this at the same times each day because they THINK ROUTINE.

Things you can do? Well the big problem there is you have to be careful of there slime coat so touching should be minimized and only done after thoroughly washing your hands and getting ALL the soap off them. Soap kills fish. But I've had one betta that loved to play tag with me. It start by me just swipping the back of his tail gently and leaving my finger in the tank while he swam away. Then he came back and flashed (tagged) my finger with his tail. This grew into a tag game where I would slowly chase him (with just my pointing finger in the tank) around the tank to touch his tail and then he would chase my finger in the tank trying to flash it (tag it) with his tail. Remember, to let him win. LOL! You got to move slowly making him think he's getting away from you and it's funny because this guy would actually slow down to let me catch him. His name was Raggy and I loved the heck out of him and he loved me so much and he was the Betta that inspired me to write a book about these wonderful amazing interacting beautiful fish. He loved that tag game so much that he became so obsessed with it that the only way I could get him to eat was to put food in his tank and then go into another room so he couldn't see me. If he saw me he just wanted to play.

Other things you can do? My baby boy called Puppy has bonded with me in just two weeks and he likes to swim circles around my finger. No matter where I move my finger in the tank, he will swim to it and swim circles around it.

I had a few Bettas, a male and a female that liked to just sit in the palm of my hand while I talk to them. Please keep your hand in the tank at all times though. It gets a bit uncomfortable for the human after a while but these two liked it.

Mostly, just talking to them for a long time can create a bond too with them looking right into your eyes as you talk with them. I've had to resort to reading to them because I ran out of stuff to say sometimes. You can even get them to learn a little english. Example: I cover my tanks with towels at night so my room light doesn't disturb their sleep cycle. Bettas have no eyelids. All my tanks have beds of leaves at the surface for them to sleep on. They love their beds as it holds them at the surface so they can take air from the surface. ALL BETTAS PREFER TO HANG AT THE SURFACE. By repeatedly telling my Bettas "It's SLEEP SLEEP TIME. TIME TO GO TO BED before I cover them with the towel, they have learned to go to their beds as soon as I tell them SLEEP SLEEP TIME. I've had about 40% of my Bettas learn this. But, they will also see you getting the towel and know they are about to be put to bed and go to their beds just from that as well. These guys are ALWAYS WATCHING US and they are much smarter than we know.

REMEMBER THIS: It has been my observation that it is much easier to bond with them if you start quality time with them when they are young. The younger they are, the easier it is to establish a strong bond and set up routines with them.

Also, please note that every Betta has their own personality and for as many I have had that truely loved and trusted me and wanted every second of my attention, I have had almost as many that just won't trust you enough to let you hang out with your hand in their home. Some are very territorial to their tank (their home) and they will get upset when you invade that. I have even lost a bond with a few fish due to extensive cleanings of their tank where I removed the decorations to clean them. Think about this: How would you like to have someone come into your house remove all your furniture for a day and then put it back in without being able to understand that you are only getting them cleaned. So we must at all times ESPECIALLY when cleaning RESPECT THEIR HOMES and their OWNERSHIP of that home. Please note, I am not trying to tell anyone here what to do or how to do anything. I am only sharing my observations from my many years of studying them and taking notes daily.

Speaking of cleaning. I never use gravel. I know it looks great but with many tanks it makes maitenance take more time than I can give. But I do use a hand held vacuum to suck out water and the little poo poos on the bottem for water changes. I had one Betta that would chase this vacumm around the tank like a dog or a cat would chase a carpet vacumm. It was funny. A pain because he was constantly in the way of where I wanted to vacuum but funny as heck.

For me, it's not about having a bunch of pretty tanks with pretty bettas to look at. My whole purpose is to give as many Bettas as I can a comfortable and healthy home and save them from SHOT GLASS HELL. Shot Glass Hell was the original name for my book but the publishers didn't like it because they thought too many people would think it's about Alcholism. To me, SHOT GLASS HELL is what these poor Bettas live in, in the liittle cups in the stores until we SAVE THEM and give them a nice home! FYI: My book is not published yet as I have just finished it and now I have to write a book proposal otherwise I won't make a dime on the book.

Sorry so long but I do get carried away when I talk about Bettas. May your day be as nice as the day you have given your Betta!

 

[fluttermoth]

I'd just like to say what a marvellous post that is, Whisper, really marvellous. I don't keep bettas myself (though I have in the past), but I think a lot of fish have far more ability to interact with us than we give them credit for.

I sometimes wonder whether people get so caught up in water changes and the technical apsects (which are, of course, vital) that they forget to actually sit with their fish and watch them for a couple of hours!

I'm thinking about trying some clicker training with our oscar; he's already learnt to ask for food by jumping up and banging the condensation tray! He's a very interactive fish, who lives in my son's bedroom, so he gets lots of attention

 

[Asteria]

Wow.

My betta loves it when I put my finger in the tank and he swims around it in circles

I recently just moved him to another larger tank and he just swims real fast up an down right at the back. That's it

 

[Whisper]

I'd just like to say what a marvellous post that is, Whisper, really marvellous. I don't keep bettas myself (though I have in the past), but I think a lot of fish have far more ability to interact with us than we give them credit for.

I sometimes wonder whether people get so caught up in water changes and the technical apsects (which are, of course, vital) that they forget to actually sit with their fish and watch them for a couple of hours!

I'm thinking about trying some clicker training with our oscar; he's already learnt to ask for food by jumping up and banging the condensation tray! He's a very interactive fish, who lives in my son's bedroom, so he gets lots of attention

Thank you and I think your Clicker idea is excellent. You should be successful with it. Think routine. Keep your clicking code the same and repeat over and over and over and after a few days or weeks he'll be dancing to your clicks.

 

[Whisper]

Wow.

My betta loves it when I put my finger in the tank and he swims around it in circles

I recently just moved him to another larger tank and he just swims real fast up an down right at the back. That's it

That's a pretty normal thing for a Betta to do when introduced to a new larger tank. He's enjoying himself loving all the swimming room you gave him. Give him a week or two of that and he'll be bored with that and want to get back to being with that big wonderful thing that gave him this lovely home and that is you.

It's all the same. What we get out of something or someone is directly related to what we put into it.

 

[blinky000]

This is amazing. I knew they were smart but I never knew you could train them by command! I spent some quality time with Steve earlier. I put my hand in the tank and he started circling it and flicked his tail on my finger a few times. Before I knew it, I was playing tag with a fish! He loves eye contact. He'll move into my line of vision if I ever break it. They're such amazing little creatures. Thank you so much for sharing this with us!

 

[Whisper]

This is amazing. I knew they were smart but I never knew you could train them by command! I spent some quality time with Steve earlier. I put my hand in the tank and he started circling it and flicked his tail on my finger a few times. Before I knew it, I was playing tag with a fish! He loves eye contact. He'll move into my line of vision if I ever break it. They're such amazing little creatures. Thank you so much for sharing this with us!

Thanks. You are so right. They truely are amazing and no matter how we say it that's an understatement.

I had a little female from a baby. Had her two years and she just could never get enough of me. She used to love me to twirl her around in circles and she was one the Bettas that would sit in my hand too. She was another one that was too much into me to eat forcing me to hide from her sight after I put food in her tank otherwise if she saw me she had no interest in food.

When she was old weak and dying, she could no longer get to the surface. All she could do was to sit on the bottom leaning on a decoration to keep her upright. She, Little Tracy, gave me the idea to make Betta beds. I made her Betta bed out of a plastic filter bag holder, that had holes to allow water flow. I added a little layer of gravel and cut the plastic to make a sort of doorway for her to get in and out of. I did all this at the table right next to her tank talking to her the hole time and she watched me like a hawk. When I mounted the bed in her tank, I put my hand all the way down to scoop her into my hand and slowly raised her up to the doorway to her bed. She amazed me by swimming right into that bed as soon as my hand got next to the doorway. She did that like she knew exactly what I was making for her. The bed was great for her. It was mounted at the right hight to keep her head right at the surface as she sits on the bed leaning on the side to hold her upright. She got so weak that soon I was feeding her chopped up baby brine shrimp from a eye dropper. She trusted me to the max. I could do anything with her. She ate for about two weeks with me feeding her from that eye dropper and she NEVER FAILED to show her excitement at seeing me every time I got near her tank in spite of how weak she was. That's love. They love us as much as we love them.

 

[Asteria]

Wow.

My betta loves it when I put my finger in the tank and he swims around it in circles

I recently just moved him to another larger tank and he just swims real fast up an down right at the back. That's it

That's a pretty normal thing for a Betta to do when introduced to a new larger tank. He's enjoying himself loving all the swimming room you gave him. Give him a week or two of that and he'll be bored with that and want to get back to being with that big wonderful thing that gave him this lovely home and that is you.

It's all the same. What we get out of something or someone is directly related to what we put into it.

Oh that's Okays
I was worried he might not like it.
Since he hasn't made me a bubblenest yet. And when he was in his smaller tank he made one the never stopped he always had one.
I always told him what a good litter boy he was.
I also tell him how pretty he his.
I do this to most fish. But I have noticed Aro, my betta watches me.
In the small tank he always used to great me as soon as it was wake up time
Oo he's at the front of his tank now xD
I just spent some time with him since I got home from work

 

[BettaLuver]

Hey Everyone! So I just signed up to fish forums right now after reading some of your comments, and I have a quick question!

So I got my Betta Fish (Steve) less than a week ago. He's a black and yellow/orange Crowntail. I placed him in a 2L tank at first because my 1 Gallon was still doing the cycle thing. I bought Betta Live-Activ Gravel for him, and some plants, along with 2 little houses that he can hide inside. The first couple of days when he was in the smaller tank, he was alright, and would swim around and explore a bit. On the day I was going to transfer him over into the 1 Gallon tank, he began looking sad - meaning he starting laying down on the gravel and hiding. I placed him into the other tank and he got lively again.
My question is, is my Betta fish sick? Or is he observing me now?

I placed him in the 1 Gallon tank and when I stare at him he pretends to be not feeling good and will hide or lay down on the gravel. The minute I take my attention away from him, he begins flairing at different things in the aquarium and outside of it as well! Then I want to start interacting with him by talking to him and placing my hand near the tank, but he just goes away pretending to be ill again?

Is there something wrong I'm doing?!

I'm also new to this website and Bettas and don't even know how to post up a question or issues.

- Monika

 

[girlbunny]

I find this a fascinating topic. I have only had my betta for a very short time (less than three weeks) and I hadn't realised just how much they could interact with us. I've been calling her simply "Little girl" - no matter how many female fish there are in the tank, everyone knows who I mean when I ask about her LOL

Because my girl ended up (by necessity) in my community tank, I'm not sure how different her current behaviour is compared to normal, however I have been fascinated with how much she really seems to be interested in what I'm doing. If I approach the tank, she'll come over to see what I'm doing. If I'm looking for one of the other fish, she'll make a point of getting into my line of vision. If I put my had in the tank, she'll come up to sit in the hollow my hand makes. I cannot say that I've experienced her spending any time near the top of the tank unless it's feeding time. She loves being among the plants and rocks near the bottom to the central part of the tank. Admittedly, she's becoming quite adventurous, so can be seen almost anywhere in the tank now.

She also seems to respond to my oldest son (who picked her) I must admit, while she is lovely, I was surprised that my son (at 8 years of age) picked a dark blue female with red hints rather than the more brilliantly coloured blur or crimson males. A fascinatingly subtle choice for a child

I'll try to put up some photos once I have a computer set up that I can unload the images onto

 

[Gtilar]

Hey,
My Betta just goes away every time i read a book aloud in front of the tank, be barely comes or trusts me. He seems to be scared most of the time for reasons that I have no idea of. He does not follow my finger and he just comes for food (had him for almost a month now) but he does sometimes stay on my hand when i put it into the tank but apart from that, he doesn't do nothing but expect for food.

 

[tropicalmumma]

I have honestly never seen a kid connect with a fish like my 9yo connected with her betta.  It's great, I love it.