I did what you guys said I am devastated... I had to have my mom do it for me.. how can I heal myself any support groups or advise, I cant stop crying
I'm so sorry. I'm glad you had someone else to help you, it's not an easy thing to do under any circumstances, whether it's at the vet, or at home.
I don't know about support groups specifically, but I'd bet there are groups on FB about pet loss etc if that might help you. But generally grief, no matter the cause, is one of those things you just have to work through and allow time to help you. You have to go through the stages. Let yourself cry, lean on friends and family for comfort, let yourself be sad about it, and make sure you take care of yourself physically while you do so - eat, sleep, being kind to yourself etc.
If it helps, you absolutely made the right decision. It's more cruel to let an animal suffer, and it was agreed by a lot of very knowledgeable people here that he was beyond saving and euthanasia was kinder. Sending cyber hugs, if wanted.