Here's one Mrs. Badger sent me:
A dad returned home to find that his 15-year-old son was out and his room looked suspiciously tidy. On his bed, which was neatly made up, was a folded piece of paper with 'Dad' scrawled across it. Alarms already ringing, his paranoia went into overdrive at seeing the note and he opened it with some trepidation.
The letter read:
Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I am writing you.
I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you. Iāve been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve because of her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes, and the fact sheās so much older than I am.
But itās not only the passion Dad; sheās pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesnāt really hurt anyone. Weāll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with other people in the commune. In the meantime, weāll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so that Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it.
Donāt worry, Dad. Iām 15, and I know how to take care of myself. We'll be fine. Someday, Iām sure weāll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many grandchildren.
Love, Joshua
p.s. Dad, none of the above is true. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report card thatās on the kitchen table. I'm over at Jason's. Call me when it's safe to come home.
