I have both a rainbow shark and a RTBS. Right from day one, at juvenile size, the rainbow shark was a real terror, bullying every fish around him - EXCEPT my two pink convicts and a female guppy! (When I temporarily moved him into another tank with the female guppy it was quite funny to see them swimming around together like best buddies. Was very strange!)
But he then had to go back into the larger tank and began his bullying again. So, gradually I have had to move his bullied tankmates out into other tanks and have left him in the 3ft with the two pink convicts (who, at approx 2", are smaller than he is but for some reason they rule the roost!). The rainbow is about 5" now so almost fully grown. He doesn't bother the convicts but they do chase him about when they have spawned.
In another tank I have a RTBS. Have had him from very small size - and he was so docile I named him Shy Boy. BUT, in the last few weeks (he is now about 4") he has started throwing his weight around a bit and been chasing his tankmates (causing one molly to get stressed out and she got pop eye). I think it started up when one of the platys had fry and the fry kept devouring the food from his cave! (I've since moved the fry out but the experience has left him with this aggressive streak).
It's stressing me out just watching him chasing and head-butting all evening, so I am going to have to return him to my LFS soon as I don't have room for yet another tank. Sad to see him go as he's lovely - but I can't afford for my fish to get sick from stress.
For the last 10 months, he was the perfect tankmate for mollies, platys, guppies and female Betta - but not any more.
The lady at my LFS has (in her personal tank) a green severum, a plec and a RTBS - and they don't bother each other at all (all fully grown with clear territories).
So, I would say that if your hubby wants to get either of the two, there's no reliable way of saying which of the two would be more peaceful as I think it all depends on the personality of the fish, the tank set-up, the size of the tank, the other tankmates and quantity etc. And, as you can see from my experience, they can switch from being placid shy boys to raging rambos and vice versa!
Oh, I also had an albino red tailed shark for a while - but he was extremely nervous and hid away under a tank ornament for so long that when he did finally show his face he was thinner than when I brought him home! So I had to rehome him.
It's just a case of trial and error. Go with the suggestions made on this thread to begin with but you may, at some later stage, need to re-jig things depending on how it all pans out.
You might strike lucky and find a really friendly shark!
Regards - Athena