How to cope up with fish death

[v kun]

Recently , my first ever mother fish died. She was a molly who was about to conceive (her 3rd time) im few days. And I was really attached to her.

I wanna know how to cope up the guilt....the insecurities , the pain , the guilt , please help guys.

Think of me as your younger brother , I am merely 16.

She was really my best friend. It hurt seeing her pass away and that too with almost on the way babies.

Please help me , any support or advice , I am scared to grow attached again and I still need to care for the molly fries I have. Please help

 

[Jan Cavalieri]

It will get easier with time. I remember as a child burying my dead guppy of course then I proceeded to dig her up once a week to see what she looked like (I was a future science student) but it didn't mean I didn't miss her. I'm carefully nursing a fish right now - not a clue what I'm doing.

Not all fish live very long and in an aquarium the odds are totally against them unless you do everything perfectly right - and often that is completely impossible.

Get another fish, or get attached to a different fish you already have. I once did CPR on my daughter's hamster (I used to work with rats in a research lab so I know how to do CPR on rodents). The hamster died in spite of my best efforts, my 7 yr old daughter just walked away and went back to playing- I was the one crying my eyes out.

You will get over it and move on. In fact it's probably a good idea if you learn to do that quickly when working with fish or pick something that has a better chance of living longer like a dog or cat as a pet. Millions of abandoned pets needing homes - adopt don't shop!

 

[PheonixKingZ]

It will get easier as time goes on. What really made me better, was when I cleaned up the tank, and went to my LFS to pick out another fish. I would think, little betta, you’re going to get my old fishes tank. It really helped me, because it is almost like my old fish would have wanted me to get that poor little fish in a plastic cup and put him in his nice heated/filtered tank.

Good luck, and I hope you feel better!

 

[MrDankYT]

Jan Cavalieri how did you even find the guppy? guppies are so small and i couldn't even find my first betta

 

[Jan Cavalieri]

What do you mean find the guppy - it died in the bowl (no money for an aquarium when I was a kid). I put it in a matchbox and buried it in the backyard with a grave marker so I'd be able to find her.

 

[MrDankYT]

yeah i meant how did you find it after u buried it, ok

 

[Back in the fold]

You know what kid ? I'm glad it makes you sad. I hope you never do get over it. You are a good pet owner. You care. That is very important because you will take your hobby seriously and learn and do things right. All the little animals in cages and terrariums and aquariums and kennels are completely dependent on us for everything. If we don't care they don't get fed, they live in filth and they are cold and scared. I'm in my 60's and I remember fish I had in grade school and what I named them. I loved those fish. I recently got involved with Killifish and got a pair in the mail from another AKA member. The female died in two weeks and I think it was because of a dumb thing I did. I felt like I let down the person who helped me and the male fish. I got another two pairs but I hated myself for treating live creatures like merchandise. I've had three Bettas die on me this year. That has never happened before. I've had Bettas live for 3 to 5 years before. It's always a drag when fish die. But learn why and fix it. And keep feeling bad about it. That's a good thing.

 

[FishGuest5123]

You know what kid ? I'm glad it makes you sad. I hope you never do get over it. You are a good pet owner. You care. That is very important because you will take your hobby seriously and learn and do things right. All the little animals in cages and terrariums and aquariums and kennels are completely dependent on us for everything. If we don't care they don't get fed, they live in filth and they are cold and scared. I'm in my 60's and I remember fish I had in grade school and what I named them. I loved those fish. I recently got involved with Killifish and got a pair in the mail from another AKA member. The female died in two weeks and I think it was because of a dumb thing I did. I felt like I let down the person who helped me and the male fish. I got another two pairs but I hated myself for treating live creatures like merchandise. I've had three Bettas die on me this year. That has never happened before. I've had Bettas live for 3 to 5 years before. It's always a drag when fish die. But learn why and fix it. And keep feeling bad about it. That's a good thing.

@Back in the fold , you d have a soft side.

 

[FishGuest5123]

Some fish are harder for me than others. My bettas break my hearts because they visit me when I come to the tank. I haven’t lost a Goldie in years. Mine are all big and healthy but I know the day will come. That will kill me because they sit in the side of the tank with me while I watch TV. They know I’m their Mommy. The cherry barbs and tetras that I can’t tell apart are easier. I hate finding any dead though. You bury them and move on... knowing you gave them a good life. Be strong!

 

[Back in the fold]

This might sound weird but . . . I used to save all my dead fish. I would set them on wax paper to dry and then keep them on a window sill. At one time there was a lot of dried fish. I would look at them and resolve not to let the collection grow. I have renewed this practice just recently and I now have two dried fish on the window sill. I hope there are no more.

 

[Fishmanic]

Dont u get a stench from dead fish on your windowsill? The most I’ve ever done was once to take a picture of my dead pleco who used to often come out in the open whenever he wanted a wafer.

 

[Back in the fold]

Dont u get a stench from dead fish on your windowsill? The most I’ve ever done was once to take a picture of my dead pleco who used to often come out in the open whenever he wanted a wafer.

No, surprisingly, they don't smell. They dry out like little pieces of jerky. They don't retain any color. They turn dark grey or black and they aren't recognizable as to what they were. I dried a 12 inch Plecostomus that died in my pond once. That was the crown jewel of my collection. You really should have saved yours. If I get a big collection again (and I hope I don't) I'm going to varnish them and make a hat band.

 

[MrDankYT]

My friend saved his turtles by boiling them til there's only bones and she'll left, and let me tell you it does not smell good

 

[FishGuest5123]

My friend saved his turtles by boiling them til there's only bones and she'll left, and let me tell you it does not smell good