Having A Baby? Why Not Get Some Koi To Help In The Birth?

[ZoddyZod]

This sounds very odd indeed......

http/koibirth.blogspot.com/

My wife is 4 days overdue......might suggest this to her tonight!

 

[sausagewinkle]

this is erm....very strange....

 

[golfzzin]

All very strange, but alarm bells ring when this comment is read:

"How long does the baby stay under water?
Well, I plan to let the koi guide him up to me. But Shane will be standing by with a net, just in case."

 

[hanny93]

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, thats all i get from that!

Imagine all the little bugs and things in the water though, fair enough koi live in it and are healthy etc, still wouldn't want to put my 'parts' in it! Feel sorry for the koi aswell, as its a well known fact that a lot of women poo themselves whilst giving birth!

No thats just weird, you can tell its weird because she has a doula, one of those spiritual healers, that rub crystals and stuff over your bump to make the baby clever and all that.

 

[england]

All very strange, but alarm bells ring when this comment is read:

"How long does the baby stay under water?
Well, I plan to let the koi guide him up to me. But Shane will be standing by with a net, just in case."

Imagine that, fishing you new babie out with a net, its its yes its a boy

Early april fool?

 

[mbeer21]

I'm just reading through all the comments now, some are hilarious and others just make me worry - like this one!

"OMG, this is like the kewlest idea evah!! And I totally herd koi can talk to babies, well I herd dolphins could but they're both like fish right!"

I really hope they're just kidding

 

[golfzzin]

Early april fool?

I keep thinking this to be honest

 

[micko]

I can only come believe, by what the person states, that they are/ they were chemical dependant for a very long time and the effects of these chemicals is manifesting itself into frying her brain. The husband is not mentioned much in this? Does he agree? If so I believe he was also lurking down dark alleys waiting for his next fix.

I love fish, but my love for them has to stop somewhere. I think they need a check up from the neck up.

They'll be on Jeremy Kyle soon and the father will have serious issues about his partner relation with the Koi. He'll be wanting lie detector results.

 

[sausagewinkle]

They'll be on Jeremy Kyle soon and the father will have serious issues about his partner relation with the Koi. He'll be wanting lie detector results.

 

[ZoddyZod]

"OMG, this is like the kewlest idea evah!! And I totally herd koi can talk to babies, well I herd dolphins could but they're both like fish right!"

ahhh brilliant, gives me faith in humanity!

 

[coldcazzie]

While I'm all in favour of water birth, and they are not wrong about the benefits of birthing in water or having the right energy, or reducing stress levels, I'm not convinced about the level of sanitation they claim to have in the pond, and to be honest, the idea of putting potassium permangenate and sodium hydroxide in the water first doesn't particularly reassure me. Bog standard tap water would be much kinder to baby skin which is 4x thinner than adult skin: I wouldn't feel happy swimming through it with my eyes open, so I definitely wouldn't put my baby through it. But on the other hand, I doubt she would have made the decision lightly, and has probably done a lot of research into it (generally most homebirthers do...) so if I were supporting her I would have to respect her decision.

And I thing the net comment was probably in gest.

No thats just weird, you can tell its weird because she has a doula, one of those spiritual healers, that rub crystals and stuff over your bump to make the baby clever and all that.

Where did you get the idea that a doula is a spiritual healer who rubs crystals on your bump to make the baby clever? Not being antagonistic - I'm a doula and of all the misconceptions I have heard about what doulas do and don't do, this is definitely a new one to me!

 

[hanny93]

While I'm all in favour of water birth, and they are not wrong about the benefits of birthing in water or having the right energy, or reducing stress levels, I'm not convinced about the level of sanitation they claim to have in the pond, and to be honest, the idea of putting potassium permangenate and sodium hydroxide in the water first doesn't particularly reassure me. Bog standard tap water would be much kinder to baby skin which is 4x thinner than adult skin: I wouldn't feel happy swimming through it with my eyes open, so I definitely wouldn't put my baby through it. But on the other hand, I doubt she would have made the decision lightly, and has probably done a lot of research into it (generally most homebirthers do...) so if I were supporting her I would have to respect her decision.

And I thing the net comment was probably in gest.

No thats just weird, you can tell its weird because she has a doula, one of those spiritual healers, that rub crystals and stuff over your bump to make the baby clever and all that.

Where did you get the idea that a doula is a spiritual healer who rubs crystals on your bump to make the baby clever? Not being antagonistic - I'm a doula and of all the misconceptions I have heard about what doulas do and don't do, this is definitely a new one to me!

Oh god I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend at all, I'ts just my (although very limited) knowledge of doula's, most likely from TV programmes or pictures, just my impression! Just out of interest what does a doula do? thats hard to say if you have a lisp!


Also, the net comment is real, I wish I wasnt human sometimes!

 

[coldcazzie]

Oh god I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend at all, I'ts just my (although very limited) knowledge of doula's, most likely from TV programmes or pictures, just my impression! Just out of interest what does a doula do? thats hard to say if you have a lisp!

A doula provides emotional and informational support for women during pregnancy, labour and birth and the immediate postnatal period. Quite often people think we are midwives, or wannabe midwives, but doulas absolutely don't do any clinical or medical tasks, and don't even give advice, instead they inform and support whatever decision the mother makes. It can sound like a pointless job, and indeed, if midwives were less overworked and allowed to work in a true midwifery role rather than their current glorified paper pusher/litigation avoider role then there would be no need for doulas. (please note, I'm not bashing midwives, the vast majority of midwives out there do a fantastic job in very difficult cultural, ecconomic and institutional circumstances and they deserve praise and compassion. I just think it's a shame that they have to serve the NHS because of budget cuts and rising litigation, instead of serving the women of this country.)

Consider a mother who has had a previous caesarean, and wants a natural delivery at home this time. Her partner can't see why she can't just have another cs, her mum thinks homebirth is dangerous, her neighbour had a traumatic vaginal birth and thinks she's mental for wanting a natural birth, and her consultant tells her that if she has a uterine rupture at home she and the baby will both die, yet she absolutely longs in her heart for a vbac. Enter the doula. She explains the risks associated with ceasarean birth to the father, she reassures the mother's mother that homebirth is at least as safe as hospital birth, she provides the consultant with evidence that the risk of uterine rupture is very low (and even lower if induction is avoided), and unconditionally supports the mother's choice for a vbac. Without that support, the mother may have felt she had no choice but to have another cs just to please her family, or she would have had to birth in hospital surrounded by people who doubted her ability, waiting for her to waver so that they could say "well, we told you..." and bundle her off to theatre.

Or consider a mother who has severe tokophobia because she was raped as a teeneager. She is pregnant but the idea of giving birth makes her feel physically sick. Her consultant however, has told her she can't have a caesarean because there are no medical indications with the baby, and therefore she'll have to birth vaginally. Without support she might feel she has no choice but to terminate a wanted pregnancy, because she absolutely cannot digest the idea of a vaginal delivery. With support she can change consultants, and argue that tokophobia is an excellent maternal indication for caesarean.

What about a mum who is new to the area, and already has 2 children? Her partner has to stay at home to look after their children, and she doesn't feel comfortable with the idea of homebirth. She hires a doula to accompany her to hospital so that she doesn't have to birth alone.

Research has repeatedly shown that women who have lots of support feel better about their births and experience fewer postnatal psychological difficulties (eg, PND/PTSD), and that women who do develop issues (and continue to have those issues rather than resolving them) such as PND and PTSD usually could not access adequate support from their caregivers, either during childbirth or postnatally. A recent Cochrane review looked at 21 studies and concluded that continuous support from a woman who is neither a member of the hospital staff, nor a friend of the mother is the most effective and results in: increased spontaneous vaginal birth, less analgesia, less reported dissatisfaction with the birth experience, shorter labours, fewer caesareans and assisted deliveries, and fewer babies with low APGAR scores.

Often doulas open doors that women didn't know were there, by suggesting things that are not routinely offered to women, or by correcting misinformation that is put about as fact. Examples: expectant management instead of induction when going past 42 weeks gestation; making a birth plan for a planned caesarean section; refusing vitamin K and early cord clamping; having a homebirth when mums have been told they "can't" because they are too fat, have a big baby, have a small baby, are overdue, are a first time mum, have already had 5 kids, have red hair, want to birth in water (the list goes on!); signposting to breastfeeding experts after a HV or a GP tells a mum she has too little milk, or too small boobs, or whatever; the list is endless. Doulas are guided by the needs of the mum: whatever she needs support in, a doula will do her best to provide it.

Sometimes doulas do also provide complimentary therapies, like reflexology/aromatherapy/whatever, but those roles are seperate from doulaing. So there might be crystal rubbing but it won't be part of the doula remit, it will be something in addition to the doulaing that the client has requested.

Yikes, that was longer than I intended LOL

Also, the net comment is real, I wish I wasnt human sometimes!

*sigh*

 

[Didge007]

With support she can change consultants, and argue that tokophobia is an excellent maternal indication for caesarean.

Definately getting myself a Doula

 

[hanny93]

After reading that i am definately getting a doula when i have my baby!

Once again, i am sorry if i offended, i am not particularly tactful, and less so over the internet!

Sounds like you have a very fulfillling occupation though, looking after all those women and their families


And yeah, sigh indeed..