Has Anyone Ever Kept A Male & Female Together?

[karigupi]

You might have read my 'could she be a he' post, this is a bit of an update on that one.

It appears that 'she' is most definately a he, I was going to rehome him, but now i'm not so sure.

One of my females was being very bullied by him & the other female, so yesterday morning I put her in one of my female guppy tanks & she is so much happier, like a different fish bless her, I will be keeping an eye on her with the guppies & will put in a divider if needed, but so far so good.

So that left Rosy (my burgandy female) in with the male overnight. The plan was to phone the LFS today & take him back, but I have been watching them on & off all day & now I am wondering if I might be able to keep them together?

I know that it is usually a very bad idea to keep male & female together, but these two seem to be really sweet with each other, since I removed the other female, all aggression has stopped & they are playing the happy couple.

At the moment they are taking it in turns to add bubbles to a little bubble nest & are pretty cosy together, if I get too close, the male comes & flares at me & is very protective of her. I have a plan B if either ones turns nasty, but wondered if anyone had ever kept a male & female together successfuly before?

 

[KittyKat]

I have only once heard of this happening/working long term out of 1000s of betta experiences I have come across in many years. Most likely they are just getting ready to breed.

 

[aly_starh]

Unless you want to risk one of the bettas dying and/or getting seriously injured, its not advisable.

Male and female Splendens should only be kept together when breeding, and thats only for a few days whilst watching them like a halk.

 

[karigupi]

I know it is unlikey & I do have plan 'B' housing for them if needed, I have kept Betta's before & I know how nasty they can be.

They are near to my desk, in the dining room where I spend the majority of my time, so I can keep a close eye on them.

 

[Haych]

i'd say try it, if its working, but keep an eye on them, and have plan B at the ready!

 

[aly_starh]

If you are confident and think it might work, then i cant force you to seperate them, just giving my opinion. But please make sure you keep a close eye on them if anything goes wrong, and be very prepared about Plan B.

But what i have seen with my 4 bettas is that, Lunar (RIP) got along fine in a community tank, where as Oscar cant, when i moved him into there to clean his section, he just chased all the fish and tried biting the Tetras and flared at them. Oscar also attacked spikey, my other betta, when he escaped.

As you know all bettas have there own personality, some more aggressive than others, i really hope it works out for you. Good Luck

 

[Zenandra]

Give it a try, I always say that fish keeping isn't black and white, there are a lot of grey areas! But make sure to move one of them at the first sign of aggression!

 

[GuppyGoddess]

Personally, I wouldn't risk it. I had my female with another fish (not a male betta, but a platy) and they got a long great for a number of days (mostly the betta just chased the platy). Yesterday, while at home ALL day, I must have missed the short period of time where my platy went to town on my betta and chopped/ripped all her fins.

Unless you can sit there 24/7 with a net in hand, it's best to assume the worst can/might happen, especially when it comes to bettas and move them while they're still in 1 piece.

 

[Rezatii]

Tbh, by the time you'll have noticed somethings wrong it'll already be too late, most likely. I wouldn't try it, in fact I'd strongly advise against it and say pleaseplease don't do it, it's not fair to them.

 

[StrontiumDog]

It's a hard call to make. I kept my female in with a male just recently for about 14 days, but she had breeding bars on her though. She ended up with a bit missing off her tail, due to the fact that Dijon wanted to get on with other stuff.

I didn't and couldn't watch them 24/7, no one can. You may find they are OK, for a while but you will proberly find thier thinking about...........you know what. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more.

Then u'll have to seperate them.

 

[aly_starh]

Unless the OP is prepared to lose a betta or have *lots* of unprepared fry, i would move the male ASAP

 

[Amberleaf]

Oh, please don't move them.... ^^; It could be, a.... well, let's just say an.... *interesting* experiment. ^^;

To all those who say, "NO IT'S NOT POSSIBLE DO NOT EVEN TRY IT!!1!!!!!1" I say, there are a lot of grey areas in Betta-fish-keeping. Not all males are aggressive, just as not all females are kind to each other.... ^^;

Every once in a while, a male comes along that is the exception to the rule.... ^^; And this might be it! ^^;

Who knows; one day, we might even find that we can breed community males.

I, personally, believe that absolutely *anything* is possible.... There is no black and white in fish-keeping. There is always a risk, whatever you do; Bettas are just naturally more aggressive, but I've even heard of completely peaceful fish attacking each other.... ^^; Every fish is different. ^^;

If one dies, fine. If they attack each other, hopefully you won't be too dismayed. ^^; Just.... have Plan B, at the ready; and, well.... Enjoy your experiment! ^^;

 

[karigupi]

Thank you for all of your opinions, i'd like to just like to add that I am completely devoted to all of my fish (to my husbands complete annoyance) I spend many, many hours making sure they are happy & healthy & wouldnt risk leaving these together if I thought there was a considerable risk to either one.

Ordinarily there is no way I would consider two betta's together, but these two are so different, I guess you need to know them to understand why I think it may work.

I agree completely with Amberleaf & Zenandra, that fish keeping is not black & white, fish like other pets have individual personalities & its the observation of these & adapting their environments to make them happy which is part of why I love fishkeeping.

So far, so good, its 2:30am, baby is keeping me up again & I am sat in a dark dinning room looking at the two of them resting on a leaf together

 

[betta fish]

I would like to see a photo of the happy couple together! out of interest how big is the tank they are in and does it have dense cover? I wouldn't house any of my males and females together unless breeding, they are never nice to one another! and I would not recommend it is done so but as you have been watching them and can see no aggression at all then see how they go, they could be getting ready to breed though as someone has already said hence the docile temprements for the time being, also how old are they and are they related?

 

[JustKia]

To answer the original question - "has anyone ever kept a male and female together?" - the answer is yes, I have.

I had 3 females in with Disco in a community for some time.
I was a suggestion made by a local breeder* (I've got 4 of his fish now) to get the females to try a relight the "spark" that Disco had lost and to help him stop tail shredding.
He did stop tail shredding, and he did perk up a little bit. In fact the only agression was between the females themselves.
I later moved the girls out into a sorority and I think it was a big mistake as I think Disco sort of pined for them.

Would I recommend it as a rule - absolutely not.
However, Disco was a very special fish, really really chilled out. I never once saw him flare.

*He has actually had a number of community males without problems. These are males that have remained together from hatching and still been together at 12months old with nothing more than the odd bit of "pecking order" sorting (ie no damage done).
So, it can be done, you just have to be prepared for the worst and anything betta ('scuse the pun) is a bonus.

Thing is with these fish you can only ever say I worked for x amount of time, not that it will always work.
Like in divided tanks you can say you had 3, 4 ,5 etc males and they never jumped the divide, but not that they won't ever jump it...