I came across this and thought it was hilarious - and somehow almost believable.....lol Thought I would share it with you all Happy Reading 
Entries in a dog's journal:
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 PM - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30 PM - ooooooo. bath. bummer.
4:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
Entries in a cat's journal:
DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only
thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get
from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another
house plant.
DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while
they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In
an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced
myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.
DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to
make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their
hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...
Hmmm. Not working according to plan.
DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was
chosen for the water torture. This time, however, it included a burning foamy
chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid? My only
consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.
DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in
solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise. More
importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies."
Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The
dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously
a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, and speaks
with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current
placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait; it is only a
matter of time......
Entries in a dog's journal:
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 PM - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30 PM - ooooooo. bath. bummer.
4:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
Entries in a cat's journal:
DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only
thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get
from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another
house plant.
DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while
they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In
an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced
myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.
DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to
make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their
hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...
Hmmm. Not working according to plan.
DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was
chosen for the water torture. This time, however, it included a burning foamy
chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid? My only
consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.
DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in
solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise. More
importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies."
Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The
dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously
a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, and speaks
with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current
placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait; it is only a
matter of time......
dum tee dum....no...i wasn't watching you eat....i was just sittin here....minding my own...."
