Can We All Stop Jumping On Everyone?

[rixy]

i agree,but sometimes peoples replys dont just state the facts in a nice,helpful way.i'm in charge of 50 ish people in a factory and i would never dream of speaking to them in the way that some people on this site reply to new members questions.

 

[Gnatfish]

Well there is difference of opinion of whats rude and what isn't

I agree people should be nice to each other...but just becasue something is negative or contradictory doesnt mean its rude.

If we all agreed on everything then the whole forum idea wouldn't work.

 

[Underwurlde]

Remember, there's always 2 ways of reading a letter. If you think someone is being rude, try re-reading it with a lighter attitude in mind - the interpretation of words may depend on the readers mood at the time....

 

[DiscusKeeper403]

I did one of these threads, with nothing but people getting ticked for me making it. What makes you think you will be the one to change this fourm to a more friendly environment and not the 200 other members who've tried and failed? Underwurlde I totally agree with you.

 

[ImperfectFaerie]

I have to agree it is more often the case that people cannot take constructive criticism, or take the advice badly. I'm sorry, but when someone asks for help and the next 20 responses they shoot down as wrong well... I'm not going to be all cuddily and sweet. That's my biggest pet peeve. The other thing, my response will completely depend on the origional poster. If it is well written and well thought out, ok I will take time to word my response and do a little extra research for that person. However, if it is all slang, horrible writing (seriously, capitals? grammer? anyone?) and txt speak, well you are going to get it short and too the point. Why should I put more effort into my replies than the OP does in thier question?

And yes, these threads pop up at least once a month, always ending with the same thing.

I do agree that you need to take into account that someone might be brand new, but after all the new people that come on here hell-bent that they are right in keeping an Oscar in a 10g or something equally silly... it gets a little hard.

Cheers.

 

[fenwoman]

hi,i've read loads of threads today,and im appalled at the way some of the newer members are being spoken to.we should be offering sound and helpful advice not ripping everyones tank to peices.your all telling me none of you keep clown loaches in the wrong size tanki'm surprised at how these new members stand being spoken to like a peice of rubbish.come on everyone.this is the best forum by miles.stop being horrible to new members and start helping a bit more.

Not me. I don't do jumping cos I have arthuritis

 

[Breeze7050]

I have to agree it is more often the case that people cannot take constructive criticism, or take the advice badly. I'm sorry, but when someone asks for help and the next 20 responses they shoot down as wrong well... I'm not going to be all cuddily and sweet. That's my biggest pet peeve. The other thing, my response will completely depend on the origional poster. If it is well written and well thought out, ok I will take time to word my response and do a little extra research for that person. However, if it is all slang, horrible writing (seriously, capitals? grammer? anyone?) and txt speak, well you are going to get it short and too the point. Why should I put more effort into my replies than the OP does in thier question?

And yes, these threads pop up at least once a month, always ending with the same thing.

I do agree that you need to take into account that someone might be brand new, but after all the new people that come on here hell-bent that they are right in keeping an Oscar in a 10g or something equally silly... it gets a little hard.

Cheers.

Well said! Some of these people don't care to listen to our advice and when it is posted over and over again in different threads it gets to be a little annoying.
Completely LMAO @ fenwoman!

 

[Flumpus]

Not me. I don't do jumping cos I have arthuritis no.gif cry1.gif

You win the thread.

 

[Underwurlde]

@fenwoman - feel your pain (literally) - I was diagnosed with AS 6 years ago - when I was 31.

Living in constant pain puts many things in perspective - especially when people start bitchin'.

 

[unspoken930]

Also take into consideration that this is on the internet, you have absolutly no idea how the person said it, just what they typed, so you can change "take the oscar out of the 10 gallon if you want it to live" into a very rude sentence, or a very helpful one without "fluff" in it like this "if you want to keep the oscar it will have to be living in a much bigger tank so please get it the correct tank size or give it back to the LFS" Both are saying the same thing with the same point, however one is concise and clear. Again, its all just interpretation.

 

[Tokis-Phoenix]

When i post advice to members asking for advice, i always try and thoroughly explain why i am telling them the things i am. Secondly, i try and stick to the issue at hand and avoid side-tracking onto other debates, and always try to avoid getting angry. The way i see it, if you feel strongly about something and are trying to make the other person understand the importance of their situation or crisis, you aren't going to get a word of info across to them if you start being rude, flaming or taking flame bait.

I try to leave cruelty issues aside though as much as i can, because that is a topic where there are such strong opinions/views, it can easily become a very heated subject. I have seen some people abuse their fish very badly, but when it comes down to it, most of these people actually do not know what they are doing to their fish or how much their fish are suffering under their care.
Don't get me wrong- i have known people to abuse their fish knowingly and unconcernedly, but until you know someone's situation and circumstances, its best to avoid judgement on whether they are being intentionally cruel or not until you can see the whole picture and have gained a lot of info on their situation/circumstances.
Also you have to take into consideration that most people that come on here for help, are at least mildly concerned about their fishes wellbeing- they wouldn't be on this forum if they wern't.

But yeah...Just try to keep in mind not to be too judgemental of people. There are people from all walks of life on this forum- some of us have a lot of money, others have very little, some members are 13 years old, while others are 30 years old, some people have 10 tanks while others only have one 5 gallon etc etc. Also try to keep your own ego down a notch or two, even if others have told you are very knowledgable on or good at fish keeping, we are all learning when it comes down to it (and there is always much to learn, whether old or new info), and having a good attitude about the way you go about sharing your own knowledge means a lot to others who are also trying to learn more about this hobby .

 

[Chri$]

This thread it pointless.

People will type/say what they want regardless of this thread or any other for that matter.

 

[Majjie]

...... some members are 13 years old, while others are 30 years old .....

Some of us are a good deal older than 30 - it's you youngsters who fly off the handle at the drop of a hat - or at the hint of a criticism

I don't think the thread is pointless if it makes even one person think a bit more about their replies.

 

[rixy]

totally agree tokis and i think you hit the nail on the head majjie.if this thread makes people think,then its not pointless

 

[confusion]

Some of us are a good deal older than 30...

Indeed.

I suspect that there is a lot of frustration from answering the same questions over and over and over again. I think the first 10 times that you point out to members that they shouldn't be keeping that bala shark and clown loach in a 10G tank, you have a good nature about you, but afterwards when the same type of thing keeps coming up, patience runs short.

I do not know how wilder keeps his cool when he sees my posts in the emergency forum

The other part is that it's all to easy to be mean in this format. We never have to see or meet the people we're talking to. People tend to be much much different in a web forum than in person.