The thing is, the basic fish in a bowl for a kid is a cartoon simplification really. These are living beings we're taking care of, and when I was a kid, my parents made it very clear that any animal we got, we had to do the very best we could to give it the best possible care, because we were making a choice to take responsibility for a life. No matter how big or small, the creature had no choice in us getting it, or what environment we gave it, so they made us research (back before the internet, so getting library books) and learn about the animal and what care it needed, before getting the pet.
Kids can learn a lot about the value of life, responsibility, nature etc by taking care of an animal. Getting a fish to treat it as not much more than decoration will teach them about death, or you'll be running to the fish store to try to find identical fish to fool them that Nemo number six is still the original one. Obviously, this isn't great animal care, and it doesn't teach very valuable life lessons either. Fish shouldn't just be practice, disposable pets.
It is a really steep learning curve when you first get a fish tank, I get that, believe me! You'll have a much easier time of it if you upgrade to a ten-20 gallon tank. It won't require as much constant maintenance aside from the usual weekly cleaning, fish are more likely to survive, heaters are easy to find to fit a standard 10 or 20 gallon, and you can create a nice little ecosystem that your kids can learn a lot from.
I’ll get a bigger tank, you guys make me sound like I’m this cruel person that’s neglecting my fish. I’ve done everything everyone’s asked me to do or help me out. I did another test and the only thing was my ph levels were .2 percent higher. I’ll get the bigger fish tank but believe me I’m doing everything experienced people are telling me to do
I'm genuinely sorry if my comment came across as harsher than intended, usually I insert a lot more smiley faces, purely because I now how tone can get lost on a forum! I've been going through some personal stuff too that is probably showing in the way I type, so I really do apologise for that.
I've never thought that you should get rid of the fish, that you're heartless or cruel, or weren't trying. You wouldn't have made the post, or worried so much about whether they'd be okay with the heater, if you didn't care!
What I meant was that a lot of people, myself included, despite being raised in a home with fish tanks - who don't realise just how much you need to learn to keep fish! Like you said, you think it'll be like the typical image of a goldfish in a bowl, feeding it once or twice a day, then you find out that you need to learn all about water chemistry, fish physiology, nitrogen and ammonia and tank dimensions and GH and, and and, it goes on and on! I've said it before and will say it again here, even if throwing yourself in full force, the first year, the learning curve feels vertical! It gets easier, believe me, but I also found it overwhelming. it's a lot to take in when you only really wanted a little tank for the kids (and I only planned to have a 'little' 15 gallon guppy community tank when I joined the hobby at first! Didn't want anything huge or complex).
I was trying to be encouraging about the positive lessons I learned from having pets as a kid, that you can turn this into a teaching opportunity, rather than it being a nightmare chore for you, because it can be so overwhelming. If you frame it as something you and your children can learn together, it might not feel like so much
And that even though it feels natural at first that a smaller tank will be easier, in reality it is actually easier with a slighter larger, but still manageably small tank like a 10-20 gallon, purely because it's easier to maintain stable water quality in that size tank. Dilution makes it all easier, while a 3.5g needs water changing so much more often, even without much of a bioload. It'll be better for you, not just the fish
Would love to help, if you'd accept my apologies!
