sometimes life can be so cruel

i'm so depressed
my 4 year old guinea pig Yoshi,
is not doing well at all
for those of you that follow my posts,
a few months ago (i think thats how long ago it happened) he was sick
i believed he was dying but i hand fed him and syringe fed him vitamin water
i cradled him in my arms every spair minute of each day, and after about a week he miraculously recovered from what ended up to be a leg injury (preventing him from standing or walking)
i was overjoyed when my baby boy came back to me as frisky and lovley as ever
unfortunatley, no amount of determination can keep him on this earth
as it is becoming quite clear that it is his time
just the other morning i woke up to feed, water and clean my animals when i noticed my baby boy lying kind of strange
i let him sleep in (a very unusual behavior for him) in hopes he was just tired
i came home later on after work to check up on him and he was still in the same position
i carefully positioned my hands benieth him and gently began to lift him when he screamed in pain
i instantly began to shake and cry
but i knew that i could not leave him in the soiled sawdust without food or water
so i attempted to lift him again, this time shushing him like a baby and reassuring him softly that he would be ok
this time he did not scream, he only whimpered, gasped and whined as i placed him down an a fresh clean blanket
i gave his cage a thorough cleaning and attempted to hand feed him
he refused the food
and even when i softly reassured him he did no more then suck on the food and spit it out
he does not want to drink either
it has been 3 days and there is no improvement
i have been forcing him to drink but i am unable to make him eat
the worst part of everything is his heart
he is so stubborn and determinned
he will not just die
i feel like a horrible person and i have tears running down my cheeks just typing this but i wish he would just give up and pass on
he cannot even sit up,
the last 2 mornings i have been waken by the sound of him softly crying in pain
i have to go over to his cage and stroke him and speak to him and he will finally stop crying and close his eyes
i have tried to convince him to keep still and stay down but he cries and cries and grunts and forces himself up determined to stand if i am not there with my hand on him
the times that he is successful and gets up he uses his head to hold himself up and cannot move
i have to take one hand on his side and slowly tip him without letting any weight go to his legs or he will cry out in pain


i hate this so much
i'm so upset
i wish he would just die

here is a more rescent picture of when he injured his leg before

before he was sick

I am so sorry pk Your post made me cry, it's obvious how much you love him, and I can't imagine him having a better home. I don't really think there is anything we can say that will make you feel better, but know that all of us are here to suppost you.

Aww hun I'm so sorry that you need to go through this. He's had an excellent life with you.

Have you thought about taking him to the vet to be put down?

I'm so sorry, Chelsey.

I think I'd agree with the idea of having a vet come and put him down. If moving him is too stressful for him and you, try and find a home vet who will come out to you and perform the procedure.

Very sad story to hear PK, I hope you'll be OK.

thanks for your support you guys
i dont know , as sad as it sounds, if we have a vet that will come to my house to do the procedure,
i will call several places tomorrow
when i look into his eyes and i see him holding on, refusing to give up, i feel that i have failed him
he looks to me for comfort, the same way a child would
when he is uneasy he gauges my reactions and responds the way i respond
when he looks at me i feel as if i can take away his fears,
his eyes express great hope that i will shield him from the pain
and yet i can't, i am useless to him
and to end his life with euthanization, i feel as if i am giving up on him and going against what he wants
but at the same time i don't want him to suffer
he is my baby, my best friend, my puppy pig and as stupid as this sounds, if i could take away his pain by feeling it myself, i would

great,
now i've made myself cry again
i feel like such a fool for feeling so strongly for an animal
but he is not just an animal,
he is family

Pointy_kitty said:

i feel like such a fool for feeling so strongly for an animal
but he is not just an animal,
he is family

Click to expand...

you have no reason to feel a fool for feeling so strongly for an animal. although i have never been through something like this, i know i would be just as upset as you are. i am very sorry about your pig

Aw, I am so sorry to read that. I really hoped he was better.

Awh, so sorry to hear about Yoshi, Pointy.

Awwww....I'm so sorry, PK. I'd been wondering about Yoshi. This might sound silly, but maybe Yoshi is afraid to "let go" 'cause he knows you're sad. I know that can happen with people, and I suppose it could with animals. At any rate, I'm very sorry to hear that he's not doing well. It's so hard to see our pets sick or in pain. You're a very good "mommy" to Yoshi. I don't think you are failing him at all. He's a very spoiled, love little Yoshi I wouldn't mind being a Guinea Pig of yours

Lots of hugs and sympathy to you. Give Yoshi lots of hugs and kisses for me and for you, okay?

Pamela
aka Married Lizard

once again thank you for your support
i haven't been home today
and i must rush off to work but i will keep
you all posted on how he is doing
he isn't moving, and he fusses and doesn't want to drink
he hasn't eaten at all for the past 2 days
i might pick up some watermelon or cantalope since it is mushy and easier to eat
maybe i'll get him to eat something mushy
even if he is dying i don't want him to suffer starvation or dehydration
he is still concious
when he sees me he sighs and wimpers softly and i kiss his little forehead and cheeks
i know he feels better when i am around
i have been thinking about the whole theory that maybe he is holding on for me
so when i am with him i try not to cry, i just stroke him softly and tell him i love him and its ok to sleep
i know he can't understand me but i'm sure he feels more at ease if i am calmer

pickle (my 6 month old budge who is yoshi's best friend) is very interested in whats going on with yoshi
i no longer allow them to have any physical contact, in case yoshi has a spreadable illness
i come into my room every time to see pickle sitting on the perch closest to yoshi, looking down on him singing hush little baby or the itsy bitsy spider
i tell him "yoshi is sick" and he just sits there with a confused expression looking down on his big brother

sometimes pickle looks down on yoshi and talks to him for hours saying "pretty bird, pickle good boy, here kitty-kitty-kitty, i love you, i love you pretty bird, he's a dirty baby, birdy-bird, mommy loves her boys, he's a cheeky little bird, you wanna go outside?"
he says alot of other stuff to
it always makes me smile
i know pickle doesn't understand the words he says or the songs he sings but its obvious that he wants to communicate with yoshi
i wonder if he knows he's dying

Pointy_kitty said:

great,
now i've made myself cry again
i feel like such a fool for feeling so strongly for an animal
but he is not just an animal,
he is family

Click to expand...

Whoa.......you should never feel like a fool for loving an animal, regardless of what type of animal he or she is.

You have done everything you can to make your piggy feel safe and comfortable and he will know that.
Having him put to sleep may not be a decision that you'd like to make but he wont be suffering anymore. He'll know that.
He will know that you love him and that you have done everything you can.

I had to have Raven, one of my cats put to sleep in April this year. His kidneys failed. I was there with him and told him that I loved him and that I would always love him.
That day he took my heart with him.
The solice that I have is that I had five of the best years with him and so many great and wonderful memories.

Hold those memories close and never let them go.
My thoughts are with you and your piggy

sorry bout your piggy....even though he seems so far gone, i'm still lingering here waiting for you to say all of a sudden that he's ok....i'm really hoping for you that this happens.

a piggy that i used to have got a really bad...just layed there, and sometimes would munch on lettuce, but would not move his body for anything. the night it got really bad, i cried and prayed for god to take care of him when he leaves. then i went to sleep. overnight he got better and everything was back to normal. i was really amazed.

thats why i'm hoping the same thing happens for you....cuz it is possible! i really don't know how....but it is.

while reading your posts, if i wasn't around someone else i would have cried. i just read this entire thing to my mom and i stopped my self from crying, but my voice shook a little....i'm really really sorry your going through this....be like yoshie! be strong and hang on!